Saturday, October 07, 2006
Overpowered by an outer source of seemingly endless doom.Compelled to reach out and embrace it,accepting the fact that its unavoidable.Proven that its alluring charm has a gravitational pull on me,entangling itself aroumd my entire being,slowly wrapping itself around me,corrupting my very system.
The essence of my being cries out for help,but is not heart.Wishing for it to end,it triggers off the sense of insecurity and unwantedness,of being unloved,just like a domino effect.One after another,it brings down its full weight of doom upon me,crushing whatever sanity I had and control of myself.
Pulled into a showdown between one side of the mind,and the other,I'm helpless,as I watch from the sidelines,the classic showdown between the good,and the bad.Torn between a decision of great outcomes,I stand alone,knowing that only I can make this decision on my own.As my mind masterminds my downfall,I'm defenceless.
Trying to comprehend where my true self lies,it only brings more unanswered questions than answers.Searching for the part of me that I have not ventured before.Do I even know what I'm looking for?Confused and bewildered,I stagger upon mystery after mystery,just looking for the end of the tunnel.
Another one of those times,when my understanding of myself blurs out,and I can't control this inner thoughts from getting to me.Self-patronize must be avoided at all cost.Once again,time proves to be the sole factor in controlling the flow of things.
Relentless disappointments
-Matyt-