Thursday, October 19, 2006
Its getting incerdibly hard to live for the moment.Knowing the truth sucks so bad,its killing me,and eating me from the inside.Just feel like every moment spent apart,is a moment wasted,and never to be retrieved back again.So its killing me,and I can just feel the pain every single moment alone. Just a random post since I'm all alone,and ditched.Everyone's busy with their own superficial affairs.I'm just rotting at home,doing nothing about it.Screw it.Its just kinda sad all my bestie's can't be assessed to 24/7.Don't even know who's my bestie's anymore. Rot rot rot!Die damn it.I evny some peeps who's bestie's can be assessed any time of the day(This includes in the wee hours of the morning).Sucks so bad! Sucks so bad! I hate this! Die die die!What a way to end a Thursday night.
Still digesting this,and hopefully,it won't be long.Maybe an outing would do me good?Just waiting for the perfect moment to arrive.I've waited long enough,and there's no better moment than the present.Was reading a book,for my stupid English assignment,called "The Alchemist." Here's an extract of what really caught my attention.
"Because I don't live in either my past or my future.I'm interested only in the present.If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man.You'll see that there is life in the desert, that there are stars in the heavens, and that tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race.Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we're living right now."
"...and he wanted to live it as he did the lessons of his past and his dreams of the future."
It just really hit me,and yes,though I've been sorta living in the present,but yet thinking about the future,but its because thats the way I am.Yet,somehow,I gotta accept this,get on with my life,live it to the fullest for now,and worry about the future when its time to face up to the cold hard truth.Its been tough this past few days,but hopefully,I'll recover and push it aside soon.I'll make this,and the next, the best year for the both of us,hun.
Enough of the emo stuff.Just gonna update what's been going on in this crazy life of mine.Finally finished my Business Comm. presentation today,and according to my lecturer,I was the best presenter among my group,and I got a 9/10,though I would have wished for at least a bit more,but who cares?Its over.The amazing thing is,I memorized my points just before I had to present.
Also got my phase exam 2 results for Business Comm. results back,and I only also got a 9/10.Sad right?I ain't the highest.I could cry.Life's like that.Gotta accept it and move on.On another note,I've got so much stuff to do.Been terribly occupied lately.Thank God for the hols next week.I just need it so badly.Need to go out with my baby.Miss you so much! Its killing me.
Hmm,and there's been a sudden surge in PDA's going on in class.Guys,I'm happy for the both of you,but what the heck's wrong with you guys?In fact,can't you guys like do it somewhere else?Its okay to even have that kinda stuff in class,but must you like do it in front of me?You trying to test my jealousy level?Its really testing my patience.
Pfft,fine.I admit,I'm friggin jealous,but thats just cause you guys get to see each other every other single day.Please,don't do it in front of me.Oh goodness! Its like,oh crap.I can't even say anything.Damn! I'm friggin jealous.I can't even believe I'm putting this down on my blog,so whatever.If you read this,DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
Other than that,nothing much happened.Managed to play a good game of footie that day,though it rained halfway.Darn it.Oh well,can't wait for the hols to be here.Its just around the corner,and 1 more day of college,and I'm done for the week.Can't wait to get it over with.Have a quiz tomorrow as well.Sheesh.One after another.
Live for the moment.Must digest,and push it aside.Get out negative thoughts! I miss my baby so much! <3
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