Friday, August 04, 2006
Ever looked up to someone and respect that person so much?Have you admired someone that he/she took your breath away?I know I have.People who have made an impact in my life,this are the people who have earned my respect.Respect is something,that must be earned,and not cultivated.
It is earned over the course of time.Someone that genuinely inspires you,and has the "X-factor',to you anyway.To be honest,the only people who normally earn my respect,are those who take a stand for themselves,who do what is right even though it may seem looking 'uncool',and those leaders over me,who are ever responsible in their respective positions.
Of course,besides my parents,I would say the person who has impacted me the most,are my youth leaders(Chris and Sarah,you guys have earned my full-fledged respect).However,there are cases where peers,do something spectacular,or extraordinary,that earn my respect.Or maybe,just something simple,like being there for me.
I've realized,that the 2 peers who I used to look up at,has also taken my respect and admiration for them,and totally crush them with their ethics and their behaviour.I still am in disbelief.How could someone who I thought of,as the most matured friend I have ever had,turned out to be this way?And another case of immaturity shown,through actions or words that should not have been said.
Of course,the both of you would never guess it,but yes,for a long time,I've held the both of you in the utmost respect.You'll never guess its you either,cause as of now,you guys are unofficially ranked 'losers',which comes with the seclusion of me ever mixing much with you people again.
1 of you totally blew it with your irrational decisions and judgements.As for the other,gossiping behind my back,telling others how 'lame' I was,just because I gave you the impression that I was 'holier than thou',as well as using profanities,which I have time and time and again advised you not to.Not only did you not heed my warning,you crushed whatever respect left I had for you.
All I can say is 1 thing.I don't care how you live your life's.God sees it,you know it.For 1,if I'm not cool enough to mix with you,then piss off,cause I don't wanna mix with you either.After all the stuff I heard that you spoke behind my back(from a reliable source),you're not even deserving of my friendship.Don't you EVER patronize me.You're not worthy.I can take criticism,not the kind of trash that you speak about me.
I've put up with you long enough.You've made my life a dump to be in.It wasn't because of 1 specific incident that took place,though I must admit,it is partly because of that,but,its your recent actions,and the gossip that came outta your mouth.You're no best friend material,not anymore.Yes,we've had our good times,really good times,but that doesn't give you the right to shove it all back in my face,and repay it back with the crap that you gave me.
As for the other,that split moment of insanity as indeed driven you to your irrational thoughts.You of all people,who I've looked up to,who I thought had the same maturity of mind as I have,who knew what it was like to be down in the dumps,you totally blew it.No amount of explanation is suffice for you to justify yourself,unless you personally come to me and explain your position.
You've really no idea what its like to look up at someone with so much admiration and awe,and when it is crushed,it becomes the biggest letdown.You have no idea what disappointments and discouragements I've had in life.You're the biggest,if ever there was 1.Its true,I'll never forget all those times where we were best of friends,and when I still held you in a high position.
I appreciated all those moments,and cherished it,not to mention we had so much in common,but snap out of it!In that moment of stupidity,if I might add,my perspective of you changed entirely.I couldn't imagine this was the person who I looked up to.I don't even know how to put you back into perspective.All I can do,is shake my head in disgust,and walk away as you lick you wounds which I believe you have self-inflicted upon yourself.
The both of you truly impacted my life,especially this year,in your own special ways,but well,all I can say is,I'm gonna walk away,not having any fond memories of the both of you.Not that it matters to you anyway.After all,I was just a 'minor distraction',a pain in the ass if you wanna put it.Now,your opinions which I had put in my best interests,is no longer important to me.
You want back my respect?Earn it,or get lost you losers.I don't wanna associate myself with people who wear masks.You know whats the best thing?You guys will probably never figure out,that its you I'm talking about.Thats the irony of life.However,I won't go any further.I'm not gonna stoop so low and make you look like dogs.It would be just plain childish-ness to do that,as you have both shown,on numerous occasions.
I won't fight fire with fire.Either you realize how disappointed I am,or you scram!Get outta my face.Hypocrisy at its biggest downfall.I'm tired of putting up with the both of you,when all you do is put on a mask.Go ahead!Do what you both are best at.As far as I'm concerned,you're accountable to God.Now if you'll excuse me,I have other matters to attend to,and my best friend to attend to.Move aside!
-Matt-