Tuesday, August 15, 2006
I don't know what to say.It was all too much to bear in 1 single night.I couldn't place myself in the frame of mind.I'm even lost for words,speechless.How could this all happen again?Then I realize,that I didn't put myself into another mess,but rather,circumstances did.I wished it didn't have to happen the way it did. The Bullet, and my Princess Inspired by the circumstances that hit me,and also,by you,my dearest companion. --------------------------------------------------------------- Just reached back from college.Don't you just love the 1st day of semester's?Hardly any lectures,except for econs.Was good to meet up with some peeps.Good to get back to college,and just chat and laugh.It was nice. Had lunch in 1U,again.We're having terrible dilemma's and getting headache's due to the fact that we can't decide what to eat.Finally went to Yoshinoya.Food there was excellent,though rather pricy,but then again,what is cheap in 1U?Haha...Received a phone call that really cheered me up today. Still feeling all the crap that had happened yesterday.I'm not thinking too much,just that I need time to digest.It all happened too fast.Thanks for calling.You're the sweetest companion that I can ever have,and like I said,hearing your voice a minute everyday would make my day.You definitely did. =) Had football.Been awhile since we played.Was a decent game.Ended the day with ice-cream at McD.Well,its been a tiring day,but well,its not so bad.Really miss you.Wished you'd come online now.You're getting me through life,everyday.You're just simply the best.With you,I can face anything. -Matt- PS:Sorry about my phone battery.It had to die when I was smsing you.Take care. =)
I was so distraught,so confused,and there were too much going into my head,that if I kept it in,I would have cried the whole night.I'm so dumbfounded.Its like a mixture of feelings waiting to spring out,emotions beyond any control,and most of all I'm so emotionally drained out.It was too much for me to bear.Anger,frustration,confusion,hurt,and most of all,that same feeling of insecurity came back to haunt me.
As always,you were there when I needed you.That sweet comforting voice,sounded the most loveliest thing in the world to me.I loved every minute of it,and though I wished I could hear it everyday,I can't.Just hearing your voice for a minute everyday,will give me the confidence I need to go through whatever crap life throws at me.You made it so much easier for me to take it in,and handle it.
As always,there were more to be said,but refraining from saying anything that could possibly hurt and offend a person,is the best.I know now without a shadow of a doubt,where I stand.Whatever feelings I had left,if ever there was any,has been totally wiped out.Especially that 1 statement that truly hurt me.
To my dearest *******, you've truly motivated me and spurred me on,not to mention supporting me even if you were blur when I confided in you.Once again,you've no idea how much you mean to me.Everyday,I've learned so many new things about you,and I've grown to love them with all my heart.Now,more than ever,I'm convinced about who you are to me.
I long to hear your voice again.I really am in no mood to go to college today,what more to study,but in a way,I'm glad,cause it'll keep me busy.I've been carrying the burden with me all night,and still am this morning.I just feel so heavy,holding all this inside of me.I wish you were here with me.I wish I could hear your voice.I wish,I could see you now.
My mind's working overtime,thinking about everything that I went through yesterday.I can't help but just wonder about so many different things.Spending yesterday,just talking with you,I wish I could do it everyday.Its no wonder we went from 5 minutes-20 minutes. =) Yeah,but I really miss you now.I haven't fallen into an abyss for a long time,but this time,you were at the side,holding onto my hand,and never letting go of my hand.
The 1 thing I won't forget,is your sweet voice.It'll definitely spur me on,for today,and as long as its effect will last.Its in this moments,with thoughts too overwhelming,burdens too burdensome,and helplessness beyond me,I need you here.I know you're always here for me,though whatever I confide in you means nothing to you.
For now,you're what keeps me going.All I need to do,is think about you when I'm thinking too much,about stuff that shouldn't concern me.You're my main concern now,and more than ever,I wanna say to you...
Wounded with a bullet,
Buried deep within my soul,
This pain that it brought me,
Never seemed to go away.
As hard as I try,
The agony remains within,
I lay down, unable to get up,
With no trace of energy left residing in me.
It all happened too fast,
Before I knew it, my palm was covered in blood,
Could not move, until my lovely angel pulled me up,
A princess so beautiful, it was captivating.
I just let myself be helped by this being,
Blinded by her beauty,
Captivated by her loveliness,
Hypnotized by her sweetness.
You buried a kiss on my lips,
Leaving a fragrance so sweet,
Helping me to rise again,
And to move on looking to the future.
For you're what drives me towards my future.