Thursday, July 06, 2006
A common mistake made by many,a downfall to even the greatest,but yet,history doesn't lie.It repeats itself over and over again.Some involving just everyday decisions in life,while others,involving life-changing decisions,and sometimes costly decisions,ultimately causing a the party who made the mistake,to pay a devastating price,for their actions.
Its no surprise,that we make this mistake.I would say,that the more we expect,the more we trust and hope for.Though at times it may seem best to expect the worst outcome,to prepare yourself to face whether its failure,rejection,or whatever negative outcome may arise,I think thats not the best way to do it.What you expect is what you get.However,this may not always seem the case.
There are times,when we expect the best,and when expectations are not met,when we're disappointed,then it'll be a major let down,for we have placed our expectations on something or someone,that unless they have met our standards,or at least our minimum requirements,it'll simply be a case of another let down.Needless to say,we're all been in this situation,where we've been utterly let down.
Consequences can be a terrible price to pay,depending on how big the weighing scale of expectations you have placed.In some scenarios,it becomes a life and death situation.In others,it causes depression and hurt,as well as confusion as to why it didn't turn out the way we wanted it to be.However,I've realized,that,putting expectations just ain't worth it,unless you have the assurance,or at least,convinced yourself,that the chance of success,is nearly a 100%.
Once again,disappointments have taken over.Knowing very well that it might happen,I still stubbornly put my expectations on the line,and needless to say,I was disappointed.I half-expected it,though I wished I had never put any expectations.Mistakes are bound to be made in life,or we'll never learn,pick ourselves up,and move on.A mistake,is a stepping stone to success.
Though I've got to admit,that at times,I've been scared to fall,only daring to make my mistakes,as I reached a certain age,where I realized,that some mistakes,have to be made,for us to fully grow and mature.Its getting rather tiring,and so,I've come to realized,that expectations should never be made.If the need to ever arises,it is with caution,and by giving other people the benefit of the doubt.
Once again,I've been let down.Won't be afraid to admit.In fact,I'll be the 1st to admit that I've made this mistake over and over again,and I always seem to do it,and I disappoint myself,because I put my trust in other people,and they have disappointed me.After much thought,I've arrived at the point,where I just give up on people,and let them do what they want.I know for sure,I won't be putting much expectations on anyone's shoulders(Isn't that a relief?).
I'll always get disappointed,for some reason.Disappointing myself because of my own failures,doesn't seem that bad nowadays,compared to being disappointed by people.Its just a blow to my confidence,not only in other people,but to myself.I'm just fed up,that everything doesn't go my way.Putting my expectations on people have let me down,and my self-esteem has taken a plunge.
Sometimes,I feel so terribly insecure,that,I don't know if I'm good enough.I just have this terrible feeling of not feeling that I'm good enough.As I sit here,I now know,I'll be extra careful,when it comes to expectations.Its already hard to convince myself that I'm good enough.My self confidence has taken such a battering,especially during this recent times,that I've lost all confidence in myself.
Everywhere I go,I'm just so self conscious of myself,on how I look.I just don't trust myself anymore.When people seemed to have all the confidence in me,I just brush it aside,with the thought,that I'll just fail them.I suppose some would say that its not my fault that I fail sometimes.I suppose,that I just sometimes expect too much of myself.For instance,getting a 89 in Econs exam seems like a lot.As long as I'm not the highest,I just feel like I've let down myself.Kiasu?You bet!
Hmm,drifted off my point.Coming back to my point.Therefore,I've come to realized,that unless I wanna keep getting hurt and disappointed,I'll strive to do everything on my own.Not to say I won't expect or anything,I'll just put my expectations with more caution,so should anything go wrong,I won't be let down so much.Maybe thats why,I've come to know myself more better.
Maybe thats why,I need to be in charge,of anything I do.That is why,management,is just my kinda thing.Leadership qualities are still needed.Everyday,I'm learning to add this qualities slowly,but surely.1 thing's for sure.I trust myself,the most,cause I know,that if I let myself down,I'll pick myself up.If others let me down,especially by loved ones or the people closest to me,I'll be brooding over it for so long,going into depression,and just thinking,what went wrong back there?
In the often stressful and hectic world of business,every decision counts,especially when you're at the top.Sometimes,it takes guts to make a decision,which could determine where your company is heading.Same thing applies to life.I just know now,never to expect so much,for the greater your expectations,the higher your disappontments will be,if you're ever let down.Though it hurts,but at least I know,I've learned something from this...
Disappointed...
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Hmm,nowadays,I post the 1st part of my blog in the morning,and then,I write the 2nd part of my blog in the afternoon,which is pretty much the boring part about summarizing my day.Sad to say,I missed football today cause I had to do drama practise.Darn...This whole week no football,and I need the exercise.I'm fat!!! Next week also no football,till we're done with our stupid drama.
Ms.Irene's comments were that we didn't put in enough emotion,during our practise sessions today.Sad.Though I think,we're getting better.Hmm,today,they had like some kinda breakdance event in the cafeteria.It was real cool watching them do all the moves.Wish I could learn,but,who needs those moves?Lazy to learn.Tried learning before.Maybe I'll pick it up 1 day.
Today,pass by the canteen,and saw Becky.She's chun,but then,too bad,she has a boyfriend already.Plus,don't think I'm interested.I have my commitments.I'm the loyal kinda person,and I intend to stay that way,even if its 1-sided. =) Other than that,study leave is coming up soon.I'll be having a break,finally,in 2 weeks time.Next week is the last week of the semester already.How time flies.
Finals will be here in 3 weeks time.Tomorrow have to go to college for extra drama practise.Gotta prepare the props tomorrow.Hmm,I'll be so glad when its all over next Wednesday.Its stressful,but we should be able to be ready by next week.Tomorrow's full dress rehearsal day.Argh,gotta bring my dad's coat and all.Crap crap crap.Feels like going to prom,cause the only other time I used a coat was during high school prom. =)
Well,as predicted,France won yesterday.World cup finals,Italy vs France.Nice match to watch.Lets hope it'll be interesting as well as entertaining.Should be,considering they're both rather good.Its on a Sunday though,but I don't care,I'm gonna watch it anyway. =P Can't wait. Oh,and tomorrow they're going to watch Superman.Was invited,but didn't feel like watching anyway.Also,it clashes with drama practise.
On my way back,while was waiting for my dad,I met up with Adrian and Anne.That guy's so sweet.He waits with her everyday till her parents fetch her home.How sweet!He must really love her a lot. =) Bleah,still felt disappointed this morning when I went to college.Hopefully,this doesn't drag on.Cheers! Peace out.
Signing out,
-Matt-