Friday, July 21, 2006
Does the title sound familiar?Ever heard Simple Plan's "Still Not Getting Any?" Well,its exactly what it says.So you think you're all big shots now?Doesn't mean that I'm your friend,and I'm being nice to you and all,you can push me around.You think being mistreated is nice?Think again!! I could say more,but I'm not like you.I don't wanna hurt your feelings.I'm too nice for that.
There are times,when there's nothing else you can say.Ever had the feeling that everyone else hates you?That everything you do fail to reach up to its standards?That you're never good enough?That whatever you do,is bound to be screwed up?Well,all I can say is,I don't care anymore.I'm tired of being nice.I'm tired of being a friend who's always there,but when I needed you,there was not even a trace of you.I'm tired of being mistreated.
Life is unfair,isn't it?The nice people in this world,don't seem to get what they deserve.On the contrary,they get the worst possible treatment there is.If thats the price of being nice,I'm sick and tired of it.It almost makes me think,that being nice just isn't worth it anymore.If being nice means being taken advantage of,then I quit.Suddenly,the possibility of turning into a jerk seems like a reality.Maybe I should be selfish.Maybe I should be self-centered.
It friggin hurts when you're on the losing side.It sucks when you're disappointed.But you know what?I've been hit with the worst hurts I can ever take,so I'm used to it.Maybe I'll always be hated,and never loved.Maybe I'll always be disappointed,frustrated,and let down.But after enduring what I have in the past,getting hurt is a routine.I dare say,that none of you can ever be hurt the way I was.
It seems,that I'll always be on the end where I'll get hurt.Its no biggie.After all,everyone enjoys hurting me.This all seems like minor hurts,but deep inside,I know it has cut and sliced into my already broken heart.There are just so many 'knives' and 'daggers' sticking out of my heart now,that it looks more like a pin-cushion.It might even seem like a porcupine.I don't recognize it anymore.
Feels like everyone's out to hurt me.Everyone's out to desert me.Everyone's out to push me around.I'm sick and tired of it.Life is unfair,but then again,whoever said it was?Maybe its some kind of testing of faith?Maybe its suppose to build my character.Whatever it is,it sucks when everyone is against me,and everything I do,is screwed up.I don't even know who are my friends anymore.
I don't even know,where I'm headed anymore.I wonder what its like to hurt someone so bad?I can only wonder,cause I just can't bear hurting people.Even the slightest thought of offending someone,makes me lose my sleep.What kinda crap is that?As if it was a tsunami,1 wave after another hits me.Before I can stand up,another wave hits me.When you're at the weakest point in your life,it takes a turn for the worst.Just when I needed friends,I can't find any.Makes me wonder,what the heck did I do wrong?
The good news is,I've accepted that I guess I have to put up with it.Maybe I'll always be hurt,let down,frustrated,disappointed and deserted in life.I'll take it as a character building process.Maybe everyone will always be against me.It doesn't matter anymore.It doesn't even matter when anyone cares anymore.How would I know you're just pretending to be that caring person that you are,when deep down inside,you're thinking to yourself, "What a pathetic loser!Just a small matter,and he's acting like a baby."
How would I know that?I wouldn't,would I?So screw y'all.If I never was worth your friendship,then maybe I should start evaluating who are my real friends,and who are the one's who're faking it.Lets see.Current scoreline.Best friends = unknown? Friends = unknown? Enemies = Infinity? Maybe I'm exaggerating.Maybe I have friends.But whats the use of friends,who just claim the title as 'my friend' but are never really there for me.
Of course 1 would say,that friends should never be expected too much of.True,I only expect from those deemed as best friends.But right now,I don't know where any of you who claim to be my friend stand at all.I'm not even sure if I have any left.So screw it.I'm gonna have to get used to it.
Go ahead.Live your lives.If I meant anything to you as a friend,I don't think it matters now.After all,I'm not even worthy to be called your friend.I was never up to your standards.So screw it.Its me against the world...
I wonder what its like to be like you,
To never really care how bad it hurts,
So go ahead and lie and,
Keep moving on,
Its all about yourself and,
You're never wrong,
I watched you crash and burn.
A section of "Crash and Burn" by Simple Plan.
Maybe, I'm just not good enough for you
And maybe, I just don't wanna be like you
And maybe I just don't wanna know
How low you're ready to go
I'm not gonna change, you can't make me, WHOA
[Chorus]
You don't, You don't, You don't, You don't
You don't mean anything to me [x2]
You're what I never wanna be
Tell me, does it feel good to be like you
And tell me, why should I waste my time with you
Cuz maybe you always bring me down
And I'm sick of being pushed around
I'm not gonna change, you can't make me, WHOA
[Chorus]
I know you think you know me
You don't know anything
I know you wanna help me
I don't need anything
Don't tell me where to go
I don't need you to know
You don't, you don't, you dont, you don't
You don't mean anything to me
You don't you dont, you don't, you don't
You don't me anything to me
[Chorus]
You Don't Mean Anything To Me by Simple Plan.
-Matt-