Monday, July 17, 2006
For a day that looked as just another weekday,turned out to be $#!+. Well,you get what I mean.I was hoping I wouldn't be down in the dumps.I was alright.Its just a on and off thing.The Devil's trying to make my life a living hell.Giving me all kinds of nasty thoughts.Hmm...but well,I gotta fight back.Probably I need to pray more.Get outta my head!!I don't need you messing around my head,with my thoughts. Hmm...Just woke up from a rather nice nap.Starting to hate this naps though.Oversleep a bit,and you feel extra tired.Listening to the whole list of Fall Out Boy songs I could find.You guys are still the best.Cheered me up.And my mind ain't thinking anymore,for the moment.Received a sms that day,and it was rather funny.Don't know if it was a joke,but this is how it went. What would I do without music?What would I do without Fall Out Boy?I know what to do if I start to think too much like earlier on.Unnecessary thoughts that waste up my time,as well as worries me,and not to mention puts me in the worst possible mood.Though I have to say,their song names are rather hilarious.Haha. Hmm...Later gotta study again.Don't know what to do till then.Still waiting for Linda to tell me when she's free.Khye-Ren can't go out except weekends.As much as I wanna go out with her,but then,this Saturday got practise. =( Probably gonna be on a weekday,since this week is my study leave.Only thing I'm worried about,is that there's so much free time,and I might go into this relapse every single day.Pray pray pray. Oh yeah,have to serve this week for the worship explosion.Know what that means?No break!Lolz...That would mean I would be serving in all 5 weeks this month.Haha.Another amazing record.Gonna be tiring.Gotta start practising for the youth concert as well.Already have my songs.Shouldn't be a problem.Hmm... Well,may you guys have a better week than me. =) Cheers.Peace out!
Sigh...did my fair share of driving today.It was nice.But my thoughts are really bugging me.Gotta seriously consider banging my head on the wall.Its just 1 of those days,where you were doing really fine 1 moment,and the next,your thoughts just hit you down like a wave of immense force.Then there's this reassuring thoughts that fight on my behalf,but seemingly,victory is short-lived.
I hate holidays,with nothing to do.It is a good rest,mind you.Basically,when there's nothing to do during your holidays,whats there to do?A word of advice.To all emo freaks out there,and to people who daydream and think a lot,never EVER leave your mind free for even a moment.The mind is a powerful tool indeed.It can either make you,or break you.In the hands of the Enemy,the mind is in the worst possible situation.
I should seriously consider finding some other stuff to do,or maybe,look through other future prospects and possibilities.Its just mind blowing,how far the mind can wander.At times,my body is where its suppose to be,but I'm out 'travelling'.It makes no sense.I need to do something.I need my best friend.Linda,where are you?I still don't want to burden you,cause everytime we talk,I always seem to make you carry my burdens.
Chris,I need your prayers!I seriously feel down for no apparent reason.This is too much for me to handle.Yet,I don't dare to go to anyone,simply because my phone bill has shot up tremendously.Dad will kill me if the bill continues at this rate.Does anyone care?Does anyone give a damn?Aren't my friends suppose to be there for me?Where are you?What happened to the part where you show concern and find out whats wrong?
Is there anyone at all who can hear me?God,where are You?I need you so bad.I need someone to lean on.Someone who can guarantee,a 24/7 listening ear.Where are You?It may seem like You're far away,I know You're not,but this thoughts don't look like they're gonna go away.Please,help me.I don't even know why I should be feeling like this.Moments ago,I was fine.
Why doesn't anyone care?Am I meant to be without a friend?Am I meant to be lonely?Is it true,that even the best of friends can never be there for you 24/7 when you need them?Its times like these,when friends are most needed,and you can never seem to find any.Someone to keep me company.Someone to talk to.I guess,it is true then.True friends are hard to find.I've yet to find mine.I may have found many friends,but where's my true friend?
Maybe all I need is a good nap.Maybe all I need is someone to talk to.Don't we all need someone to be there when we don't feel too good?I'm waiting for that friend...
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Definitely feeling better now.It really is an on and off thing.The Devil must be working overtime.Guess that prayer before my nap really helped.Hmm...maybe another mistake was hearing Kelly Clarkson's songs.Never hear sad songs.They'll totally kill you.But for what's worth,Beautiful Disaster is a nice song,just too sad to hear sometimes.I love Breakaway as well,but its just not worth hearing and feel all sad for nothing,especially when you're an emo person.Haha.