Sunday, June 18, 2006
Dear Daddy,
Today's Your special day,not just because its a Sunday(which is Your day),but because its also Father's Day.I can't really get You anything,but I'll be a good boy today,cause thats my only gift I can give to You.Happy Father's Day to you too anyway.I'm kinda tired today.But then,more than that,I think I'm having the blues,again!
I just can't help it.I feel so lost and lonely.I really don't know if I can hold on any longer.I feel like I'm lost in the youth.Don't know why. =( I can't communicate well anymore.Today,I 'gave out' a lot during the practises and all.I don't mind,cause I'm doing it all for You.But then,right after that,I began to feel spiritually and emotionally drained.Darn...Feel like crying again...=(
I really hope you'll take away all this negative thoughts.Daddy,I need You more than ever.Still need You to heal the 'wound'.It kinda sucks when all I do is think about this.Tomorrow I got IT exam some more.I know You'll be there to help,but I need to concentrate. =( I know its in the process,but I want it to go faster. You know the only time I'm trully happy now.
Its limited.But then,Daddy,I hope You'll give me more of those moments.Its the only time where I forget my problems and feel that sense of joy that I've lost over the past 2 months.Is that the answer to my problems?I don't even wanna think about it.I think its out of the question,unless its in Your divine plan for my life,then You're gonna have to open the doors for me.
You know what's best for me.Thats why,I'm glad that You're my Daddy.If this is the way I'm gonna regain my happiness back,I really hope it is,but I won't know,till You show me.But I doubt it is.Momentary happiness?Sigh...I want it to be permanent.Anyway,I'll just be patient,and try my best to move on.I know it hurts You to see me this way,but,I'll try my best,with Your help,to endure this.
Anyway,thanks Daddy for being here for me.I still hope You're here for me all the time.I hope You'll reassure me.Thats the best thing.As for this matter,I won't pray for it,but I'll pray about it.Though it seems not likely,but I'll pray anyway.Its totally up to You dear Daddy.You decide.I leave it in Your hands.I won't have my own way anymore.Happy Father's Day to You.
Your ever-loving son,
-Matt-
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Well,the above letter,is sorta my prayer,a prayer that I blog,a prayer,that I hope,my dear Daddy up there,will answer.Just felt like putting out my 'cry' in my bloggie.So thought of using this way that I thought of.Due to complaints from come people,decided to use a bigger font.Happy now?Though there doesn't seem to be much difference.
Overall,had an ok week.Would have been a good week,if I wasn't feeling down now.Yesterday was the best,though a lil tiring.Wasn't feeling too good,so I called Linda out for a movie.So the 3 of us(including Andrew)went out for lunch,and when we went to watch "The Benchwarmers",just before the youth cell.It was great,as the comedy was worth every penny.Had us laughing for the whole 1 and a half hours.
It was like how Linda put it,a momentary comfort.Well,she was being extremely nice(or mean,whichever way you wanna put it).She wouldn't let me pay for the Baskin Robbins,or the popcorn and drinks.Which reminds me,yesterday was the 1st time I ate Baskin Robbins.Thanks to Linda.It was deliciously addictive.Ever since I started college,been creating history alot.Been to alot of places for the 1st time.
Met up for lunch.Had Burger King.Wanted to go bowling,but the prices on weekends suck.Its like 1 game for the price of 2 on a normal day.Crazy.Thats when we decided to have Baskin Robbins.Went to check out some stuff to get for my dad cause today is Father's Day.Couldn't find anything.Went to check out some books also.We just followed Linda.
Soon,had to go in for the movie.Again Linda paid for the popcorn and drinks,though I was pushing her to pay.Darn,she's too strong...So the next time we go out,all the bills are definitely on me.There wasn't many people watching the movie,but it was excellent.Had a good time laughing.Good stuff..
The movie finished at 5.So we continued walking around.Checked out the Tie-shop,but found nothing worth buying.Finally,Linda brought us to a gift shop(Girls are seriously good when it comes to directions in 1U).Got my dad a keychain,as well as my mum,for a Happy Belated Mother's Day thingy.Then,we had to head back home and go shoot off to Subang for the youth cell.
Had a blast.Aunt Licia's cooking was amazing.Especially the sambal that came with the nasi lemak.Had a great time of fellowship.After all the eating session,some of them played Twister.Then we went for walks.It was nice.A night of laughter and fun.Sent Sean back after that,and reached back almost 12.
Sigh...I guess all good things come to an end.Wished yesterday would have never ended.If only it stayed that way.Well,tomorrow's IT exam.Sigh...Will have to pray really hard.Guess thats about summed up my whole week.After being 'drained' today,don't know how I'm gonna make it through the week.I really need God's grace. =(
Oh,and today,I received a really really nice prezzie,given by dear Linda.Gave me a real cool-looking clock with really really nice features.Thanks loads.My favourite prezzie after my MP3 player that I got for my birthday.You didn't have to get me such a nice gift.Didn't really expect you to remember my birthday.Its really sweet and thoughtful of you.You're the best! =)
Well,I still thank God for everyday,good,or bad.Hopefully,He'll give me more great days than bad.Need to fight off all the negative thoughts and really somehow claim back the joy that I've lost,thats been stolen from me.Maybe I need to go out more often.Pray more.Hmm...mum just lent to me a book entitled "How to Deal with Your Broken Heart" by Susan Tang.Will be reading it soon.Sounds like the right book to read right now.Hoping for a good week.
Signing out,
-Matt-