Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Just woke up from my sleep.Seems like Wednesday's are the only days that I can get some afternoon nap.Had English drama practise today.Darn,seems like its only 1 month before we actualy have to present it.Bleah!And we're so not ready for it.More stress has been added as well.Tomorrow Econs exam.Next Monday IT exam.Next next Wed English Exam.
Crazy ler.Suddenly everything so hectic.Every week got exams.Sigh.Can't believe this,but I still cried this morning.It sucks so bad. =( I kinda hate myself sometimes for being like this.When will it all end?Only God knows.Its terribly tiring.Drains all my energy emotionally.And when that happens,physically and mentally,I lose focus,energy,and suddenly concetration.
Kinda sucks,especially when the Econs teacher made it more worse.Her voice sounds like a lullaby.Everytime she opens her mouth to talk,I feel like sleeping.Then,there was just this thought of how good your friends were.There's a test that shows who's really your best friends,and those that pretend to be.Its quite obvious by how they were there for you.
When you go through problems,most of your friends will say this. "Chill ler,don't take it so hard." And to me,thats the stupidest thing to say,especially when you're down and depressed.Instead of saying "I'm here for you,anytime.If you need to talk,just sms or call me." In times of distress and all,when you've going through your lowest point in life,some people turned out to be your best friends.
What happened to those who I thought were my best friends?They give me their 'comforting' advice.Here's a word of advice,NEVER EVER ask people to chill when they're down.Instead,offer your shoulder for them to cry on.Cry with them.Just be there for them.Thats the best thing a TRUE friend can do for you.When I'm terribly down and depressed,there were only 1 or 2 people who really made an effort to be there for me.
I've looked at some people who were supposedly 'good' friends,where were you guys when I needed you?Was your handphone on when I needed someone to talk to?Were you there for me when I woke up in the middle of the night,crying?Where were the smses of concern?You guys didn't even make an effort to find out how I was doing.In fact,you couldn't be bothered.
I guess,when we go through hard times,its the only true test of friendship.I'm so thankful for those of you who were there with me,and still are here for me to help me go through this ordeal.I've made a new best friend,and I know,who was there for me,and who wasn't.I guess,you can't really judge a book by its cover.Those pretenders,or friends wanna-be,I'm sorry to say,that I look differently at you now.
Though I still don't know who I can call,or even sms somewhere in the middle of the night,but I know who'll be there everytime I need to talk.In fact,I know someone,who I only met once,and she offered her time,and told me,that anytime I needed someone to talk to,I can call her.What happened to the time I had with my other so-called friends?Led to nothing.Sigh...
You'll be surprised,but sometimes,people who tell you they understand what you're going through,are a bunch of liars.They don't know what its like to go through what you're going through.cause if they did,they wouldn't expect you to recover so fast,or in an instant.All I can say is,you guys are stupid for thinking that way.A true friend stands the test of trials and problems.
Through thick and thin,they're there for you.And to my dearest friend Linda,out of the blue,you were there for me.You were 1 of the few,who showed the most concern for me.You helped me out.You were there when I needed to talk to someone.You helped me out so much,that I couldn't possibly expect from someone who's close to me.You were EXTRAORDINARY,in the sense,you did more that what was expected of from you.
In a way,I'm so thankful to God for bringing you into my life during this crucial part of my life.Its amazing how you came at the right time.I'll never forget what you've done for me.You've suddenly put yourself at the top of my best friend list.You'll never be forgotten,and from now on,you have my friendship,which is the best thing I can give. =)
And of course,those of you who were trully there for me,you guys have been a blessing to me.I won't mention names,but you know who you are.Its been an honour knowing that you've stood with me,especially through this time.You guys are fantastic.I RESPECT you.
Now,I know for sure,that good friends,are so hard to find.Its almost impossible to find someone who'll stick with you through all the nonsense you're going through.I now know,who are my close friends,and those who just aren't worth talking to.Its funny,but,I've known some friends for such a long time,but its those that were there for me,that mattered.
Where would I be without friends today?Friends are the most important thing to me now,after God and my family.I don't know where I would be without them.I guess,1 of the few lessons I've learned from this ordeal is to cherish my friendships,especially those that are close to me.Perhaps,the best thing about true friendship,can be summarized in this short,but meaningful poem.
Friends are one of a kind,
They multiply the joy,
Divide the sorrow,
Subtract the past,
And add to tomorrow.
Most friends only will multiply your joy.But,rarely are those who divide the sorrow,subtract the past,nor add to tomorrow.Your best friends will do all those for you.Those who don't,are just there for you when you're experiencing moments of joy.But,they disappear when you need them the most,when you're going through the valley of despair and depression.
I've honestly learned to cherish friendship more than ever.Its been a traumatizing experience,still is,but the 1 good thing is,its given me an insight into friendship,and given me a great friend and a few others.Friends,can't live without them,and some say,can't live with them,lol.But thats not true,not if you find the closest friends.For they are the greatest treasure you can have on Earth,that money can't buy.
Oh goodness.What a long post!And most of it is on friendship.Thats how much it means to me now.I don't know where I'd be now,if it wasn't for friends.Here's a short poem I wrote about friendship.Its on my friendster profile,but I'll paste it here anywayz.
Friends always stand by you,
Even when you're going through the blues,
They stand steadfast,
Giving their support in whatever you do,
Knowing in the end,they were there for you.
It may not be the greatest poem on Earth,but,it helps remind me,that when you lose it all,there's 1 thing that will always be there,and thats friendship.Though I feel like I've lost everything,I'm glad,that its thought me,to appreciate friendship with all my heart.Peace out!
Signing out,
-Matt-
PS: Sorry for the extremely long post.I just feel like letting it all out.Took me almost an hour to write it all out. =P