Tuesday, June 20, 2006
As I closed my eyes,and prepared to 'depart' from the world momentarily,I kept my mind alert,half waiting for the reply.Though I was terribly drained,it seemed this was the only time to let it all out.After an ongoing sms conversation for about 1 and a half hours,I looked at the time.It stated clearly,12am.Time to get some shut eye.After bidding my best friend farewell,I turned in for the night,only to wake up 5 and a half hours later,unable to go back to sleep.
As I woke up,those cursed memories flooded my mind again.As I pondered upon it again,tears started to flow down.As I lay right there,I sobbed tears of depression,and heartbreaks.I wanted to pick up the phone so badly and call my best friend,but as it was 5.30 in the morning,I decided against that.At 6.30,I couldn't take it any longer.I didn't know who to turn to.I went straight to my parents room,where my mum was sleeping,and sobbed quietly.To my surprise,she heard me,and immediately put her arms around me and consoled me.
She prayed there and then.I don't really know how long I was in there,but I guess I was there for 40 minutes,cause when I looked at the clock,it showed 7.10am.Through tears,I somewhat felt better.In between tears,mum told me it was a spiritual battle now,and I had to fight it.I felt a sense of determination,that I'm gonna fight what the Devil's done to me.Now,I know what I have to do,to claim back the joy that I've lost,and to reject all those thoughts and memories that come to my mind.
Also managed to finish reading the book I was reading about.In the end,it all comes down to me,and God.I gotta work with Him to go through this.I enjoyed the book.Really spoke to my heart.I don't think I wanna summarize what I've read,cause its a bit too long,but it helped a lot.Don't wanna dwell on it too much,lets just say I'll do everything in my power to fight this mess,with God's grace,I'm gonna win this spiritual battle.
Other than that,nothing much happened today.The drama date is drawing closer and closer.I'm scared. =/ Just found out we have 3 exams next week,on 3 consecutive days.Its gonna be gruelling.Stressful.Not to mention the Econs assignment we're gonna get this week.The only good thing?This Thursday classes has been postponed.My friends are asking me to watch "Too Fast Too Furious:Tokyo Drift." Am wondering whether to go for it.Maybe I should stay at home and chill?But I need to go out more and keep my mind busy.
Maybe I won't go.See how.Already went out that day for "The Benchwarmers." It was good.A must see.Gave me a good laugh when I badly needed it.So if it could make me laugh,don't you think you should watch it?Anyway,have to help dad with some church stuff on Excel.What a bother.Hate excel.Hmm,I'm gonna learn how to read guitar tabs.Found something interesting to occupy myself.No mood to talk much today anyway.So I'll just stop right here.Have a good week peeps.
Signing out,
-Matt-