Saturday, June 10, 2006
Hi peeps.Just came back from our church camp in PD bout an hour ago.Well,I thought this year's camp would be good with the amount of people that turned out,it was good,but,don't get me wrong,I didn't really had a good time,though the messages were excellent.It was as if God was speaking to me.It all hit me right into my very being.
1st day,and we had group dynamics.The games were real fun.Though very physical.Played a bit of football after that.Then we had the session at night and all.It was good.God's presence,is always so refreshing.Ps Chris of course lived up to the expectations.He was terribly humorous throughout all the sessions.2nd day,had breakfast,the morning session,and in the afternoon,after lunch,a few of us went with Chris to buy stuff.Then,had games again,followed by treasure hunting.My group got 1st in the games,but last in the treasure hunt.Sad...
Shortly after that,went swimming.It was a good activity to relieve all the stress.Then,had the dinner,and after that,the night session.At about 12,we all went to Chris's apartment and chilled out,playing Twister and all.I think I'm not good at that game though.Couldn't win at all,especially with all the pro's.Here's a pic of the pro's in action.
Then,after we had supper and took group pics,we all were lazing around,while some of them were still playing Twister.Then,at 2,decided to back to my apartment to sleep.
However,in the end,I slept at 3.30am.But the thing was,a problem reoccured again.After spending time there,the same problem happened again.Was terribly depressed,so I called Linda and had a chat with her till 3am.Till my mum found out,and then,got scolding,and had to go to bed.
Still couldn't sleep for like half an hour.Cried myself to sleep cause I was so down.And then,I woke up at 7am this morning,after devotion,went to wash up.Took a shower,and cried while showering.Went for a walk on the beach,and then,cried again.Was thinking to myself,"Oh God,I thought this problem has been solved,why is this happening to me again?"Didn't have any mood to eat breakfast.Just had a cup of coffee,to keep me awake for the rest of the day.
Some more,dad told me,I'll be getting a punishment as a result of staying past my curfew.Was so sad and depressed.It was as if,my day couldn't get any worse.Then,the message during the last session was really good.And after lunch,came back.And now,I'm blogging.
Well,I won't deny,that I didn't enjoy my camp to the max,but God is good all the time,whether we're down,sad,depressed,hurt,it doesn't matter.God is good,all the time.I almost literally isolated myself from the youth during the camp,except for Chris and Linda.Is this how its gonna be?Felt so lonely.Its like I've lost my 'positioning' in the youth group.I can't really click with anyone anymore.
So sad.I don't know what to do.God,You gotta help me.Sigh,well,I hope I'll feel better soon.So freakin depressed.Crap.But well,I still love church camp.Its just cause of that stupid problem,that deep wound in my heart,thats why it ruined everything.But it was great anyway.Can't wait for the next camp.Thats all for now I guess.Just remembered,got Econs exam this week.Crap.Peace out!
Signing out,
-Matt-